Looking Back: The Itaewon Tragedy, 3 Years Later

Many of you who know me personally know that I was present during the Itaewon Tragedy on Halloween weekend in 2022. I thought I would be vulnerable and write about my experience during that night and the days after. I sincerely apologize if ads appear on this post. If and when I can afford to upgrade my plan with this site’s host, I will be able to turn them off for this post.

The tragedy occurred in an alleyway that connects the walking street to the main street of Itaewon, and is next to the Hamilton Hotel. I heard that the Hamilton Hotel illegally expanded their building into the alley, making it thinner than it was meant to be. If you look at the alley itself, you can see an unnatural extension for a stairway. There is also a little police station only about 110 meters away from this alley. The alley itself is a ramp leading up to the elevated walking street from the main street.

During previous Halloweens, there were cops at the intersection of the walking street that led into the alley to control the flow of traffic. However, for this Halloween, the now disgraced former president, Yoon Suk Yeol, had started a war on drugs, and so the only cops present were undercover and looking for drugs. After the tragedy, the cops actually tried to blame the deaths on drug usage and wanted to drug test the corpses. They even got warrants to search the victims’ bank accounts to look for drug payments. Concerned citizens had been calling the cops the entire night about how they were worried that someone might get hurt because there were simply too many people. But the cops didn’t show up until after the crush started killing people, arriving an hour and a half later. I could spend a lot of time raging against the incompetence of the police that night, but I will spare you. Most importantly though, the bereaved families have STILL not received justice yet.

The crowd in Itaewon that year was ridiculous because it was the first Halloween after South Korea lifted their COVID restrictions, like mask requirements. Naturally, it was also insane due to the lack of police officers controlling the flow of traffic. Every year, it was a tradition of mine to walk along the walking street to just briefly see all of the costumes everyone was wearing. That year I was wearing a Zeus costume and eagle-eyed viewers can find me in walking videos of that night. However, that year, it was way too crowded. I tried to turn around shortly after entering the crowd, but couldn’t. A literal wall of people prevented me from leaving and I was trapped moving forward. I ducked down into the alley where the crush occurred to escape from the walking street. I imagine that’s what most people were doing there. In that alley where the tragedy occurred, I stopped to take selfies with about 3 groups of people who liked my costume. Less than 5 minutes after I left the alley, the tragedy started. I confirmed my time in the alley using bank statements of when I bought drinks. I sometimes think about what would have happened if I stopped for a 4th selfie, and if those people who took pictures with me were in the crush.

Two things that I haven’t personally seen anyone comment on is that there were two other factors that made the alley more dangerous than it needed to be. The clubs on that street sectioned off the sides for people to wait in line for their clubs, and there were at least 2 street-side booze dispensaries operating immediately prior to the crush. The one in front of the Emart24 looked like they were giving out shots. This isn’t to condemn them, but to just make note of other factors that may have contributed. One of the club’s bouncers became a hero later by pulling people out of the crush and into the club.

For the next two hours, I was drinking in front of a convenience store only about 130 meters away from the where the crush was occurring. The music and everyone’s combined voices were so loud that I simply had no idea that it was happening. It really cannot be understated how loud it was that night. If you tried talking to me from more than maybe two meters away, I wouldn’t have been able to hear you. However, after 2 hours, I went to get a kebab across the main street, and realized I was getting a lot of messages from friends asking if I was okay. I was very drunk at the time and had no idea what anyone was talking about, and the first thing most people thought was that there was a celebrity sighting in Itaewon. For a long time, all I could remember was me walking by the alley and a police officer telling me to go home. I did end up walking most of the 5.5km home, as it was impossible to use public transportation or get a taxi. I think what happened to me, though, is called dissociative amnesia. Now, I can sort of remember the bodies strewn along the road and the ambulances. I am still deeply upset with myself at how drunk I was that night. I think if I was sober, I could have at least helped perform CPR on someone. I don’t think this guilt will ever leave me, to be honest.

I cried a lot in the following days and weeks, and I found myself crying again as I wrote this. I was a teacher at a kindergarten at the time, and there were moments where I would have to stop teaching a class so I could cry in the bathroom. At the time, I still used social media, and so I had updated my friends about my safety and about what happened on Instagram. However, the co-president of a Seoul-based NGO I volunteered with at the time read my updates, screenshot and shared them with a journalist without my permission, and then asked me if I wanted to speak with the journalist for an interview. Because of our power imbalance and my desire to maintain good relations for my resume, I felt compelled to give the interview even though I didn’t want to. I told the journalist not to include my last name because I didn’t want to make the story about me. You can read the interview here.

For a while after the tragedy, I believe I was suffering from PTSD and my heart would start racing whenever I was in a claustrophobic situation, like being on a crowded subway car. Free counseling was being offered following the tragedy, but I didn’t want to take a slot away from someone who might have needed it more than me. I’m fine in claustrophobic situations now, though. Eventually, I worked up the courage to attend the memorial. There were some Buddhist monks chanting in front of the Hamilton Hotel (next to the alley), and there were thousands of flowers laid out. There were makeshift memorials for individual lost loved ones with their favorite drinks and snacks in front of them. Seeing the ones with chocolate milk made me cry thinking of how young that person must have been. The alley itself was sectioned off by police, but there were hundreds of sticky notes pasted onto the wall leading into the alley. I left a note and flower expressing my condolences for those lost. Across the street from the alley were activists holding signs demanding for accountability. While I was listening to the monks chant, a middle-aged man started yelling (in Korean) about how the victims died because they were celebrating a satanic holiday from a foreign country. He was dragged away by police. There’s no hate like Christian love, after all. Those types of lovely Christians came out of the woodwork to blame the deceased for their own deaths. You know, just like Jesus would have done. Someone associated with the NGO I worked at was one of these types of Christians. Here are two of the pictures they shared online.

I hope the bereaved families can get justice as soon as possible.